


Legend of the Terriporn

by mattysones



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Frottage, M/M, Self-cest, This Is STUPID
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-13
Updated: 2014-04-13
Packaged: 2018-01-19 04:21:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1455175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mattysones/pseuds/mattysones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I took a prompt from a friend to write bad porn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Legend of the Terriporn

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2011.

Fire glowed around them as two Daves stared each other down. One was from a past that was relative to the other’s future in a complicated mind fuck that both had reach the point of giving up understanding completely. That wasn’t the issue; the issue was that they were both sexy mother fuckers and no one’s hands were down anyone’s pants.

“Your suit looks like you strangled a consort and his dying wish was to be your sequined jacket.” Relative Dave Number 158 said with an aloof lift of his chin.

Other Dave Relative to the Previous Five Daves Who Were From His Future But He Was Not From Their Pasts smirked and leaned against his shitty sword which was buried in the ground, “At least I don’t look like I’m from bad 80s movie only Egbert would get the reference,”

Other Dave snorted and raised his eyebrows, “I’d be upset except I know you’re just suppressing your unhindered desire for amazing self-loving that we both know would be mutually satisfying.”

Future Dave rolled his eyes, “I’d say you’re harboring the same insecurities if I didn’t know myself any better, but we both know we have the manly balls of steel just come out and say it.”

“Wanna make out?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

Both Daves took the moment to throw down their weapons (Well, neatly CatpchaLog them in a way that made complete sense) before grabbing each other’s collars and bringing each other into a kiss that was honestly a little awkward probably because they were both 13 and inexperience doesn’t lend itself well to good making outs.

That first mood kill was easily overlooked when the parties in their pants were a little more focused and knew exactly what the goal was, and the diffusion of hormones and happy humping took over. Other Dave found himself underneath Future Dave (obviously oldest was on top, Other Dave wasn’t going to put the energy into making the argument for otherwise although he should be learning from experimentation, how selfish of … him). Future Dave rubbed their groins together and they both let out a noise that was much too manly to be a moan.

Future Dave pressed his lips against Other Dave before pulling back, “This isn’t exactly what I thought it’d be.”

Other Dave pulled Future Dave back by a fistful of hair and kissed him deeply, “Yeah, this kind of sucks. There’s a rock in my ass.”

Future Dave thought about making a comment involving asses and the things that could be in them, but bit back his sarcasm. Both Daves shrugged and gave into the simultaneous impulse to grab each other’s dicks.

Hand jobs were definitely getting them somewhere, even though their hands were a little too dry from the given environment. Their arms tangled awkwardly as they found a rhythm that made them shudder and move against each other, backs arching, throats swallowing until a little suddenly, they both stopped and saw white for a glorious 10 seconds.

Then their pants were sticky and that’s just uncomfortable.

Other Dave grimaced as Future Dave moved away, “Let’s never do it this way again.” He said grumpily.

Future Dave looked around for a way to clean off his hands, “Well,” he paused, “The way you said that implies we’ll try again.” he said slowly.

Other Dave rolled his eyes and snickered, “Password’s hump master. See me in a year?”

There was a mutual thumbs up.


End file.
